Pota, teach me about boundaries. Let me be you.
So we showed James a little bit of ourselves. We let him feel our boundaries. And since skin is the first visible boundary, we got skin to skin with James.
It was too much for him, because the boundaries we showed him were confusing. His skin left him and James fell over.
When we tried comforting him, James said anew: teach me again, I want to learn.
‘I think this is my task,’ confession sheep said. Had he been sitting there all along? Why didn’t we notice him earlier?
‘Boundaries have to do with knowing who you are’, confession sheep said to James.
‘Let me use an example’, confession sheep said, ‘since I know that you learn through experience.’
Confession sheep got hold of a couple of colored thingies, James saw. By the looks of it, all the colored square thingies all in some shade of green-blue-ishness.
‘Let me grab hold of these squares’, confession sheep said. ‘For argumäh’s sake, let’s pretend they are not thingies, but let’s call them words and behaviors and preferences and likes and desires and wants and talents and strings of thought.’
‘Now, bare with me as I will hold a monologue’, confession sheep said.
‘The exerted wishes that should never have been confessed found their freedom when he entered my door.’
‘Stacks of tears where we should have left it right. The burial of all those times looking back was suffocatingly strong. Stronger than life perhaps.’
‘You too by the way, bare with me during the monologue.. ‘ ‘Let me adore you, kiss your feet, lick the salt off of you, clean your fur, make you glisten like that seal I once saved.’
‘I like hearing what I whisper in your ear, I make you mine all the time.’
‘Okay’, confession sheep said. ‘Done. How do you feel?’
James didn’t know what to say. He felt covered with sticky things even though confession sheep ushered him to consider them as feelings and choices and talents and so forth. He felt dirty. He hadn’t understood one word of what confession sheep had been saying either.
‘I know you feel dirty,’ confession sheep said. ‘Now tell me what you want to do.’
‘I feel covered in sticky square thingies,’ James bleated, ‘even though you said I had to consider them as feelings, attitudes, likes, dislikes, and so. They are just so sticky that they can’t even make my skin crawl, because they’re sticking so tight to me!‘
‘I want them off of me‘, James said.
The more James tried peeling everything away, the more the sticky things stuck together.
He almost fell over, again!
‘You got this’, confession sheep said. ‘Trust my words.’
And because James trusted confession sheep, he let himself fall over. He almost disappeared behind the wall of sticky things. ‘This doesn’t belong to me, get it off of me’, he said.’
‘I will’, confession sheep said.
And he leaned in..
.. and with one paw attached himself to what was bothering James so much.
.. and took it away.
‘Woah‘, James said when he saw confession sheep, ‘it is beautiful! It is just absolutely beautiful! What a sparkling personality you got going for yourself, what funny thoughts you secretly entertain, what interesting dislikes you hide from me, oh how your desire to be your true self matches who you actually are, I like your attitude about life and relationsheeps,..’ James almost couldn’t stop seeing confession sheep for who he really was.
‘This is a part of me, of my personality, of who I am. What felt like sticky square thingies for you, was me forcing myself on you,’ confession sheep said. ‘I had no regard for your boundaries and just marched right in, as if someone had never even got to thinking about buying wood for building a fence for the meadow he placed you in.’
‘So‘, James said, ‘what I am looking at is all you and not me?’
‘Yes’, confession sheep said. ‘That’s why it felt uncomfortable for you. The added difference is that I have a coat of many colors and I can have these shades of green-and-blue but also of purple and yellow, or white and orange, depending on the sheep or the situation. You, on the other hand, are James and there is only one true you, and if you discover your color, you will immediately notice that it doesn’t feel like sticky things, it will feel like home. It doesn’t look like a square, it will look like you. There will arise a serene settledness in your soul that starts to sing a tune that you only can hear. It will be a life-giving perpetuation of continuing to grow to become that true you. It will have the color and the shape of who you truly are.’
‘Ah yes’, confession sheep sighed confirmingly, ‘it will look something like the color and shape of your herder.’