Sometimes a story tells you more than words can. Sometimes one picture is enough and we needn’t paint a picture in your head. Especially when we want to show the uncomfortability of a way too big sheep for a shirt. Or perhaps the shirt was just way too small. And because of this misfit, Jomo started bleating all these weird sentences like ‘stop petting my peeves!’
And the only thing we did, was buy a vest. We didn’t even buy it for him, but he thought it would fit. “I feel fat!” Jomo spitted in our face.
That is not possible, Jomo, we said. You can only feel fat if you are fat, the same way you can only say you feel sheepish, because you are a sheep, or the same way you can say you feel brown because you are brown. But you can’t say you feel brown, so you also can’t say you feel fat. But that’s not the reason you can’t say you feel fat. The reason you can’t say it, because it’s an untruth. And you don’t speak untruths. You are brown, though.
Jomo just looked at us. ‘You lost me, Potamotrygorgeous.’
“I think it’s better if I get out of this vest,” Jomo decided.
“And I also think it’s a better fit for a smaller sheep. Because I can’t change the size of clothing, I can change the size of the sheep wearing it.”
“Sure thing, let’s try this on,” Sheebo said. Little did he know he was already wearing a vest, and this would probably be way too warm. That can also be the case with vests. They differ in size, but also in temperature.
If Jomo was female, we would have said that he looked motherly to Sheebo. Now he just looked fatherly as he opened the sweater.. oooh, so much sheepy warmth was inside!
Sheebo took that dive.
Don’t look at the sheep ass.
No. Just. Don’t.
You were looking at the ass again, weren’t you?
And like he was the little baby of the flock Sheebo motioned us to dress him.
And so we did. But we had a very small.. or rather.. big suspicion that this shirt would be.. eh..well, let’s see how this will go.
Put on the cap, Potamotrygorgeous! Put it on!
Nw Iannw twion dzhole shur, cmon!
Okay, the hole shirt then. Our suspicion grew.
As did the disappearing of the sheep in the vest.
Until we were left with this.
And this if we had the cap off again. Sheebo wouldn’t hear any of it, close it up he shouted! Close it up, I love it! It fits like a glove!
Ah yes, and gloves also come in different sizes, Sheebo, and this one..
is a bit too big for the next round..
But perhaps this is a good thing, because if you are planning to fight a little this week..
You’re probably most safe being hidden.
Sheebo woke us up this morning.
Sheebo woke us up this morning. He had this look on his face.
Hey Potamotrygorgeous, if you’re gonna do this for a third time, could you give this story a new turn please?
Sheebo woke us up this morning. He had this look on his face that told us something was not right. But he couldn’t tell us what it was. We knew the box had been around for a while. His expression revealed his not-understanding about this.
See? Non-understanding expression. Funny how you don’t need words to express that you don’t understand. No words are needed to tell that you lack the words. So we took his expression as a question and we tried explaining to Sheebo that boxes usually don’t leave. That is not their character.
Sheebo then spoke: “but it won’t move either!”
We tried explaining to Sheebo that if you can’t move, you can’t leave. So if the box hadn’t left, that probably means it cannot move.
Sheebo asked: “why won’t it just pack up his things and go and be somewhere else?”
We tried explaining to Sheebo that he was projecting human feelings or sheep emotions onto a thing that is not human, nor sheep. Sheep can want things. Humans can feel things. A flock can decide things. A herder may look forward to things. But boxes…
Sheebo said: “but you don’t see my wants and needs either, but they are still there. So I guess the box has wants and needs either, I just don’t see ’em.”
We tried explaining to Sheebo that could be true, but that we could never verify that, because we are not boxes and will never know how it feels to be a box.
Maybe Sheebo was right, and that the box didn’t want to leave. Maybe Sheebo was right, that the box stayed on purpose.
Sheebo said: “that’s it! A purpose! It has a purpose! That is the something that was not right. That’s what I missed. How could I not have seen it, a hole is visible all the time, even though it consists of nothingness. A purpose is what I saw what was missing! Purpose!”
Now it was us who needed explanation.
Sheebo said: “this box hasn’t fulfilled its purpose yet. It came to us, carrying sheep love, in the 2017 sheep calendar. We have enjoyed spreading that love around the globe. And in doing that, we saw something abstract.., it was not about calendars, it was about connection, about giving, about friendship. That is the purpose of this box.”
We asked more explanation from Sheebo. Perhaps he should start writing these stories from now on.
Sheebo said: “stuff it, Potamotrygorgeous. Enough with the nonversation.”
Excuse us, mister Sheebo sheep?
Sheebo said: “okay, I admit, the fictional word nonversation is mine, it’s my little language flirt.”
Sheebo continued. “But the stuffing part was for you, literally I mean, Potamotrygorgeous. Stuff it. Stuff the box. Fill it. Put thingies in it.”
“Oh, I know what I want to put in here.. I am so happy that I don’t fit the box, otherwise I would have sent myself. But I think it’s better if I send something of myself, then I can keep spreading sheepy love.. Oh, how I wish James was still here..”
Sheebo, what did you do?!
Let’s try to write out loud what Sheebo was thinking.
This is what Sheebo was thinking:
‘Potamotrygorgeous, you want this.’
‘Potamotrygorgeous, you need this.’
And while two Sheebo’s tried undoing the huge box by its sticking tape we thought.. want.. need.. There is not much we want. There is not much we need. We perhaps need the gift of discernment, to distinguish the two. A want is not a need. Don’t confuse you needs with wants. And what we needed, would not fit a box. Would it?
And we thought Sheebo thought the following:
‘Hey, potamotryponderous, would you stop it already with all the head activity?’
While the two sheep folded open the huge box we remembered that the reason we started this herder-ship is not what it brought us in the end. Sheep teach us a lot about life. Sheebo told us at least two things. The first thing is that size does not matter. The smallest sheep lives with us in Antwerp. The smallest! The second thing Sheebo told us is that quantity does also not matter. The only sheep to live with us in Antwerp is him. The one! More sheep never means more love. At least not if it would make you believe in a world where you would believe in less sheep means less love.
And while folding the flap of the huge box to the side Sheebo told us a third thing. That fetishes exist.
And we thought: Sheebo is probably thinking this:
‘you mentioning the ass again, huh?’
‘It does not matter if you don’t know what you need, or what you want’, Sheebo thought. ‘Many times I don’t know it myself. It is the challenge to find peace in that not-knowing. That is where the challenge lies. No, that’s where the peace lies.’
Now I am confused whose thoughts these are..
Or should we write the sentence between brackets?
‘Then we definitely are confused!’
Ehem.. shall we return to the box? Things are complicated enough, let me show you..
Your wants and your needs are just like emotions, Sheebo probably thought, and in comparison he used this gift to show it to us. Wrapped. I know what you are thinking now. Empty?
Not really. There was a box in a box. That is how humans want to send things, whether it is material stuff, or with language. So many things are not what they appear to be. A huge box can be a huge shouting and can be empty when you look closer. Or it can contain a smaller box and therefore another thing, or another message.
The two sheep took out what was inside the smaller second box.
Hey, Sheebo, wanna see a trick?
I am the present, yuhu!
I am the present!
Eh.. I could do with some help here now..
Okay then. Enough twirled around it all. Let me show you what we think you need and what we think you want. And if you don’t feel those two things, then just take it as a present from flock to herder.
Did we peaq your interest already, Potamotrygorgeous?
Let us learn you so much more, Potamotrygorgeous. You are the herder, but we are the sheep, and it’s time you start acting like us a bit more. Start small, with what was really inside this huge box. Because, like we said, size does not matter.
Sheebo fired Potamotrygorgeous from being in love. After that there came an unexpected but anticipatory grief on which we took an advance. Blinds were closed, mirrors were put up everywhere. It’s the same reflections people use to pretend it’s not them but their reflection who’s doing the drugs. And even when the truth is staring you in the mirrored face, you can always close your eyes and make it go away. It was not the door that closed that hurt the most. Because the closing of a door doesn’t last. It’s done in a split second, you know. Boom. Closed. It’s what comes after that. The perpetuum non-mobile of that door; not swinging open again. Shut for good. Or for bad. That is a lasting thing. Something can forever be closed. The same way the one staring at you in the mirror will always. Be. You.
Sheebo wanted to have this discussion. But our views were grounded in history, facts and philosophy, while his were grounded in emotion and prejudice. Therefore he sent us back, and said we could only get back with him when we would be more prepared and equipped. Okay yes, he admitted. Hypocrisy exists. But.. so he said.. if someone is counterfeiting spiritual integrity and warm authenticity, this only proves that a corresponding reality actually exists! Or differently said: a counterfeit twenty-euro paper is not bogus unless there is also a corresponding legal-tender twenty-euro bill.
And so. He bought. A card. For later. To send.
He looked. And sat. Right here. With us. Eyes open.
He knew. He kissed. He talked. Yellow hearts. Only now.
Money don’t buy you nothing. It can’t cuddle you. It cant make you smile. It can’t feed your emotional hunger. It can’t provide you an umbrella. It can’t sing along with your favorite song. It won’t understand if you are a little late for dinner, heck.. it won’t even cook you dinner!
Money can buy you a train ticket.
To a place where people live with whom you can hug, who make you giggle, who won’t leave you standing in the rain, and who are perfectly okay if you are not on time.
Sheebo is just loving this last days of this amazing year. He frolicsome behavior luckily got unnoticed by the shop we went to (unless they had them security camera’s actually ON this time). He wanted to surprise us and spell our full name, but the store didn’t have a shelf wide enough to write Potamotrygorgeous. But no matter how many letters you use, it’s not about that, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. And the intention with which he arranged our name. It’s official now: we are in the shops!
Yep. Even in the blow up cushions he had a message for us.
Sheep for life! Mah.