We found couch-sheep asking Pota, what is bliss? According to couch-sheep the dictionary says that it is supreme happiness, utter joy or contentment. But for him that is just trading letters, because the dictionary then says joy is the emotion of great delight, and delight is a high degree of gratification, and gratification is the fulfilment of a desire, well.. we think we know where this is going. Can we trace it back to one beginning, he asks? To one root? Does everything spring from one thing, like the leafs of the tree all get their feeding from the same trunk? Regardless of the season the tree is in or of the color of the leafs? Will there be a tracing back to an utter beginning that is so much the truth that it goes beyond definition, he asks? Can something be so true that it becomes ungraspable? Or so huge that it overflows your imagination, or your urge to contain it? Is that what bliss is perhaps?
We asked a question in return. When he woke up this morning, no.. wait.., we just tell him about it. He firstly didn’t quite understand the question. ‘When I woke up, you mean?’ he asked. ‘I woke up’.
More. Tell me more, we urged him. Go back, couch sheep.
‘Eh, I was asleep?’
No, we said, in between that.
‘Pota, there is no word for that.’
So we asked couch sheep the question: There is no word for it or you don’t have a word for it? Because you can’t name it, it doesn’t exist? Or it’s not true? Because if so, let’s turn it around and kill emotions by keeping mouths shut. If you don’t talk about it, it isn’t there? You can’t go play hide and seek if you cover your own eyes, thinking you’re invisible, you know. Tell me about the in between that.
‘Well..,’ couch sheep said, ‘there is this tiny shade between asleep and awake. It’s like you’re both at the same time, but you only realize this when you realize you’re awake. And at the same time this gives the instant possibility of stepping back into knowing you’re dreaming, but then again not fully. It’s the utter yes and no combined. It’s the first shade the blinds give when the sun comes up. It’s like the sun lifts up one of your lashes to tell you she’s about to shine in your life. As if the sun will hold her rays until you acknowledge her. That moment is the best moment in your whole being, it’s full-body, it’s not from hoof to ear only, but also from birth till now, and it is captured in every movement you ever made, packed into you lying motionless in your bed that second, it’s the same when you gradually warm the water you were bathing in, you don’t feel it and at the same time you do.’
Hmm.. turned out that couch sheep did have the words for it.
But oh, couch sheep wasn’t done yet. He mentioned that moment, when all worldly concepts haven’t blossomed in your face yet, yellow has no meaning, nor a reason to make sense to a daffodil, nor define or constrain her, that moment when you know your taste buds are soon to be up and about and scurrying for sugar spikes, salty rocks, whiffs of coffee, as if they are proposing to your nostrils, knowing their no will be a yes. And in that moment you know you are lying next to the mäh of your life. You haven’t even seen him, nor felt him, nor smelled him, nor heard him. You noticed him with a totally different part of your being, nothing to do with sheep senses, it is outside the waking state even. It was the sense of the soul.. where wordless truths take over life, whispering something to you, as if little sail boats are packed and ready to travel the world, as if you are Columbus yourself, or his brother, knowing there is this unknown world you already traveled and then again also not..
.. that’s is bliss.